I was initially disheartened when I started reading this article. Is there really no guarantee that my children will be Christ followers? No matter what I do, I can’t be one hundred percent certain that they will choose to practice my faith? What’s the point, then, of trying so hard? What’s the point in having kids?
However, as I read more and considered what I was reading, I realized that the author is right. I’ve known too many families and too many people with all the “right” situations and variables only to have their children choose (at least for a time) their own way. I also know too many people who grew up in situations completely void of any mention of God, who have since found a place in the Body of Christ.
The oft-quoted Proverb which is the basis for many parenting ideologies and messages seems to be used in a self-serving manner. While as parents we love our children and believe we have the best intentions, surrendering them to God’s love, the Holy Spirit’s working, and the Saviour’s call means we don’t have ultimate say in their lives. It’s hard to surrender that false sense of control.
If I am honest with myself, I will admit that more often than not, children who grow up in godly homes will take some time out from their parents’ faith to explore the “dark side.” Regardless if some return or not, parents who are still in the trenches of the younger years (like myself) almost always look at the parents and wonder where they went wrong. We forget that a person’s faith is between that person and God, no matter how much we try to push or pray.
In the church I am a part of, parents publicly dedicate their young children to God. With each of our four children, I saw that day as a dedication day of myself as a parent. I cannot control the outcomes of my parenting years, but I can control what kind of parent I am. And for that, I need God’s help and divine wisdom.
However, this article seems to push me to think beyond my view of dedication. I’m not just pledging myself to be a Spirit-led parent; I am pledging myself to continue to be a Spirit-led person. (And if I am honest with myself and with you readers, being Spirit-led has been the most challenging since becoming a parent.) When I respond to my whiney child with patience, when I set aside my harshness, when I choose to forgive my child and not hold a grudge against them for the rest of the day, that is being a Spirit-led person.
I appreciated the phrase “parent faithfully.” It has a dual meaning to me: to keep on being the parent even when I’m worn out, and to let my faith flow into my parenting, just like it ought to flood every other part of my life.
I also felt released from pressure I feel from parenting gurus who have all the answers. There are no formulas. As a Christ-follower, my love for people apart from Christ simply extends to my own children. I can control their bedtime and their nutritional habits, but I cannot control their moral or spiritual choices. The dynamic is different because of our relationship and my responsibility to them.
The article reminds me to remember that my four children are people, not my subjects. They are my potential brothers and sisters in Christ. Yes, they are in my physical, spiritual, and emotional care, which is a huge load of responsibility, but they are fellow human beings.
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